Some News

Life is something we take for granted. We all know we will die at one point, but we play it off like it doesn't mean anything. The media portrays death in reality and they also glamorize it to it's highest peak. I believe that our feelings about death are mixed until it actually happens in our lives. It isn't funny or something to joke about anymore. It happens everyday and we never realize it because we are told to keep focusing on our own lives. We shouldn't focus on death every second of the day, but we need to be reminded of the seriousness of it all.

As you an recall from my last post, I was happy and was going to try and start meditating -- it's a bust already. It was something different to try. I wasn't going to do it because I was turning Buddhist: I wanted to do it because it is like a still form of yoga. However, right now, I do not think I could still my mind enough with trying to listen to the wind. In fact, it will probably annoy me. I was reminded yesterday that I should meditate on God's word. Yessssssssssssss. I really need to, but I have been very bad lately with everything. I sin and I don't understand how God can forgive you so many times. Everyday we sin at least once. How is it possible for someone so forgiving to do that everyday? If I were in that position, then I would tell the person, "You need to start being good ALL the time. No mistakes this time, okay!?" Just kidding. I would never say that to someone, but you have to wonder sometimes.

So, I'll do whatever I think is best and I will not get into detail too much here. I would think anything will help me during this time after knowing that a friend of mine (that lived in another country) OD a couple days ago, but I wasn't informed until last night. He's gone. That's it. He and I were going through a lot of things with life and each other, but I guess he couldn't hold on. I thought it was a joke at first and he was going to pop up and say, "I'm here still! Happy early April fools!" I waited all night and that never happened. I wanted to meet him one day and that will never happen either.

I only knew him since April of this year, but we got to know each other pretty well. It doesn't matter how much time you spent with a person because when they are gone, it is still a heavy loss. I don't really know what to do about it at the moment. I can't just laugh it off. I want to do something more. I had a couple ideas:

1. On November 2nd of every year, I want to celebrate Day of the Dead (but in my own way) because he was from Mexico.
2. I want to do things that would make him proud of me. For example, live. He always told me to.

Everyone dies sometimes sooner rather than later, but I believe that in the meantime, we need to remember this and live for the people that are gone now. 

-TGC

It's Time to Start Meditating

Hello dear readers,

I have come to the conclusion that I need to be doing something more with my life that doesn't include sitting around and acting like if I do so, then everything will work out perfectly and the world will not fall to my feet. Wrong-o. As time slowly rips itself off of my calendar, I can see that the useless time spent is affecting me the most. Everyday you start to feel a bit more guilty inside because you seem like a lump of lard. So, what is this plan that I am conjuring up in my head?

For one thing, my head is stuffed like turkey that will be set on the table two weeks from now. I can really not think at all because it's jammed up there. And let me tell you, it is a horrible feeling. Last night, I tried my best to come up with something to say for myself; I tried voicing a plea asking for assistance with my unruly mind, but the farthest I got was REM sleep after five minutes of shutting my eyes. That is called progress, people!

As I laid on my silence, I came to something that isn't the easiest thing to figure out. I have to start becoming me. My body is full of forces that are not me and I can't get them out. I have to start small, but hopefully, in the end, it will have results. First, I was going to do things and surround myself with everything that I like the most. After lighting that fire, I will have a defining stamp seared on my skin that I can look at and say, "This is me. I have found me." Second, I have to get rid of the forces that are left behind. This world has negatives (and positives of course!) and they can't linger for long. I need to get rid of these pessimistic ideas and feelings and find inner peace. It is as simple as that, but on that note, inner peace doesn't seem that easy to get.

This all reminds me of Eat, Pray, Love, but I am only eighteen-years old and I have no way of traveling to India to find that peace in a cave full of meditating people. Around this campus, there are no caves, but there are a lot of people -- they are just not meditating. I don't know if finding a Meditation for Dummies book would be ethical, but it may be a start? Believe me when I say that I do own a yoga mat and I know some poses, but I can't go outside and do this in the middle of November. I think it makes more sense to take up meditation which is something I can do while just sitting somewhere and anywhere that fits my needs. Now, where to begin?

Today, I am taking a fabulous walk to the downtown area of my town that has wonderful shops and a library. Maybe I will look into some books about meditation, but I will see what they have. Can anyone picture themselves seated on the ground, your legs crossed, your palms open, and your lips moving in sync with your breath? It sounds like something in a movie and abnormal. In reality, a lot of people do this and I am sure they are the happiest people on his planet. Why would you NOT want to be like them? Start meditating!

Life is full of adventures and I know I have to start doing something new. This is the time in my life where I need to try different things to set my definition in stone. I can start with what interests me and go from there. I already love the calming effects of the forest and vintage shops, so why not meditate as well?

Well, I better get to reading this book of ethnography for my Anthropology class before I go there in forty or so minutes. See those words? Yeah, that is why I need to meditate. I get a regular dose of negativity every other day of the week! At least there are only 5 more weeks left of my first semester of college (can you BELIEVE IT.)

Have a happy Friday! Make sure to go on as many adventures as you can everyday!

Ciao,

Tiffany